Mick Mercury

Mick Mercury
Art by Sharon Oh
Details
Pronouns	He/him
First Mentioned	Juno Steel and the Day That Wouldn't Die (Part 1)
Status	Alive
Age	41
Aliases	Mick King of the Freeway King of Security A special boy
Location	Hyperion City, Mars
Relationships	Juno Steel (Friend) Sasha Wire (Friend) Rita (Acquaintance) Arcana Lately (Personal Assistant) Ricky, Marty, and Sammy Lately (Younger sibling figures)
Voice
Voice Actor(s)	Stefano Perti
First Heard	Juno Steel and the Day That Wouldn't Die (Part 1)

“

Turns out the problem there isn’t the skates, it’s the dogs. They just spin in circles for a while and then start crying.

”

—Mick Mercury, referring to his rollerskates for dogs business idea^[src]

Bartholomew "Mick" Mercury is a childhood friend of Juno Steel and galaxy-famous, super-wealthy fiction writer, first appearing in "Juno Steel and the Day That Wouldn't Die".

Early Life

Mick grew up along with Juno Steel and Sasha Wire in Hyperion City. His uncle gave him a hover scooter when he was a kid, and he gained a reputation as "King of the Freeway" because of it, claiming to have been the only one of the neighboring kids to have ever left Hyperion City. Unfortunately, the kids all eventually realized he was lying, and all except for Juno and Sasha stopped hanging out with him. They'd get some drinks in a bar known as the Pour and Floor ("because they pour until you hit the floor!") and joke with Sasha’s little sister, Annie Wire. When Mick was younger, he had a dog named Wilco, but Wilco died after walking into the middle of a gang war and getting shot fifteen times. Mick's father, who owned a greasy burger joint, put Wilco's body in an industrial size freezer. The burger joint got shut down by the Hyperion Board of Health less than a week later.

Since then, he apparently got into the habit of starting or investing in various "business ventures," which never made him any money. A notable example of these would be his "skates for dogs" project, which only made them spin around in circles. It was not until he started dabbling in fiction writing that one of these became succesful.

History

Mick, having lived in Oldtown his whole life, was caught up in Ramses O'Flaherty's Newtown project. He had a THEIA Soul implanted in him, and was given a new, clean apartment. Rita and Juno come to visit him to check out what Ramses had done to Oldtown, and initially don't suspect anything. Mick has quit drinking and seems to be doing well. He then attacks Juno, attempting to implant him with a THEIA Soul. Juno shoots Mick with a stun blast, which gives him a heart attack. While Juno freaks out, the Theia restarts Mick's heart. Rita manages to hack into the Theia

At some point Mick writes the first book in The Boldcrown Gang series, which he reads aloud to his father in Mick Mercury and the Night Before. The story is a retelling of something that happened in Mick, Sasha and Juno's childhoods. It is set in Oldtown and features the characters Bruno Bronze, Tasha Connector-Cable, and Mick Mercury. The story is a huge success upon publishing, and Mick is asked to write more in the series. He is advised, however, that talking about Oldtown in the wake of Newtown probably isn't a good idea, so the rest of the series features the Boldcrown Gang travelling through dimensions and time.

The stories are so successful that Mick earns enough money to bring his dog, Wilco, back to life using an experimental technique pioneered by Lawrence Hoffman. Mick also buys a floating mansion, the Dollhouse Manor, and puts it near the North Pole of Mars. He writes a story in a newspaper claiming that he bought the Dollhouse from a shady dealer, and that it was haunted by a serial killer who targeted criminals. He sometimes forgets that he made this story up. He invented the story to go with his next book as a multi-media experience about the Dollhouse- he even comes up with the idea of mass-producing these manors and selling them for cheap. He dubs this idea the "Mick-Mansion".

After he starts living in the Dollhouse, Arcana Lately shows up to his home claiming to be his personal assistant Miss Germane sent by his publisher. She brings along Marty, Sammy and Ricky as Mick's valet, gardener and cook. They scam Mick into giving them money and letting them live large in his mansion. Marty, Sammy and Ricky get along well with Mick, and are fans of The Boldcrown Gang.

When Juno comes to visit Mick to ask for money, he is stopped by Miss Germane at the door. He escapes her, but she tells her children that there is an intruder on the loose. The children attempt to catch Juno, but fail. When Juno bumps into Mick, he is initially afraid that Juno is "the guy", but is relieved that it's just his best friend Juno. Juno frustratedly tries to explain that he is "the guy", and that Mick's staff just tried to kill him, but he won't have any of it. Juno comes to the conclusion that his staff are space pirates, which Mick is thrilled by. Juno begins to talk to Mick about what happened with Sasha, but Mick cuts him off and asks that he not be told unless there is absolutely no one else Juno can tell. Juno agrees to back off about it.

They come up with a plan to take out the pirates and get away, which succeeds until they are once again confronted with Miss Germane, who introduces herself as Arcana Lately. Juno manages to get under her skin about her reputation as a pirate, and holds her at gunpoint. Mick protests, claiming that it doesn't matter to him that they were pirates trying to steal from him, they're his people. He decides to support them with his money anyway. Ricky, Sammy, and Marty agree to this and try to convince their mother to go along with it. After all parties agree to the arrangement, they tell Juno about the rumors of Dark Matters' new plan to end space piracy altogether.

Mick goes with Juno to meet with Puck Falco on Io, who he had previously met when Puck arrested him. They are delighted to see each other, and Puck is a fan of Mick's stories. Mick has already agreed to give them money to help Juno get his family back, and Puck already took a cut to investigate a lead that ended up being Rita.

Mick helps Rita write Juno's cover story, Max Action, when he infiltrates Aurinko Permanent Corrections.

After Juno gets his family back, he meets with Mick on a proleteriat-chic dive bar on Earth's moon. They drink together, and Mick orders and Oolong tea for Sasha. He asks Juno what he's going to do next, which Juno is frustrated by. Mick calls Juno out on the fact that he totally knows what he wants to do next, he's just scared.

Juno calls up Mick in order to get Lawrence Hoffman's contact information. After Juno and Nureyev follow The Executives to Vivopolis, Juno calls up Mick again to ask how Wilco is doing and how he would fight Wilco if given the chance. Mick at first avoids the question, but then talks about how Wilco is falling apart at the seams and keeps freaking out at bright lights. Juno thanks him for the information and hangs up on him.

Personality

He is a cheerful fellow and a loyal friend, but not the brightest person. He also has a habit of making up fairly ridiculous stories (mostly about monsters) and ends up being the only one who actually believes them. He seems to wholeheartedly believe in most of his own scams as well. He often gets caught up in tangents and stories while speaking, which can get frustrating if you're trying to get specific information out of him.

Relationships

Juno Steel

Juno and Mick are childhood best friends. Mick is the one person alive who knows Juno the best. Juno can often get frustrated with Mick, especially when he's focused on something and Mick keeps going on tangents. No matter how much they fight or argue, they always stay friends. Juno is used to getting Mick out of trouble, and it comes as a surprise when Mick is the one to get him out of trouble.

Sasha Wire

Sasha and Mick are childhood best friends. Mick says he owes Sasha a lot, and when Juno comes to him saying that Sasha has hurt him irreparably Mick asks him to to say what she did. He decides to be the one person in Sasha's corner, no matter what. When Sasha passes, Mick and Juno drink to the memory of their childhood friend.

Trivia

• According to the podcast's official Tumblr, Mick is one of the only straight people on Mars.
• Kevin Vibert chose "Mercury" and later chose "Bartholomew" as "an inherently funny name." "Mick" being short for Mercury was Harley's idea.
• Mick loves fried crickets.