| “ | Llllllllladies and more ladies! Nymphs from the palm to the cacao, who tango in the mangroves and salsa in the balsas, welcome… to… SPORT! | ” |
—Sunny Budkin
Second Citadel - The Sportive Nymphs (Part 1) is the twenty-fourth episode of the second season of The Penumbra Podcast. It was released July 10, 2018.
Overview[]
What's more knightly than rescuing a Damsel? Doing it better than all the other knights, of course... especially if those other knights are really, really annoying.
Sir Marc and Sir Damien do not like each other at all. Each is extremely important to the other's favorite person, and neither understands it in the least. So when a glade of beautiful forest-women offers to watch these men manhandle one another in manly competition, how can they say no? Saving ladies, being swooned over by ladies, flexing your muscles at ladies... isn't that what the knight life is all about?
So enjoy the moment, boys, and don't be like Talfryn, sitting on the sidelines and watching those nymphs very closely. Don't question that strange sound you hear, or those markings in the grass, or the way those nymphs are watching, abuzz with anticipation of... what?
Trigger Warnings[]
- Sudden loud noises
- Ableism and sexism
- Violence and threats of violence
- Death and injury
- Nudity
- Violence towards (monsters/animals)
- Deception and gaslighting
Episode Summary[]
A few days after Sir Caroline, Sir Damien, and Sir Angelo have stopped the witch on the lake and after Rilla was released from Lord Arum's keep, Sir Marc and Talfryn are riding their horses along the Northern shore of Lake Tranquility. Marc compliments Talfryn for finding a shortcut around the lake. As the two banter, Marc triumphantly boasts about the fact that he's sabotaged Sir Damien and Sir Angelo's boat, which means that they'll be several weeks ahead of the two and be able to catch the monster they're after by themselves. Tal comments that they don't even know whether the monster is a big deal, to which Marc quickly replies that it must be--after all, Queen Mira sent her finest knights after the monster, who supposedly has a thousand arms.
When Tal inquires as to whether Marc asked Rilla about the monster, Marc admits that he's bad at lying to her and didn't stop to see her. Tal then states that it would've been a better idea to stay behind and protect the citadel while the Queen's best knights were away. Marc tries to sway Tal by saying that the maiden the monster made off with is supposedly very pretty. This leads to Marc asking Tal what kind of women he likes. Nervous, Tal stutters out that he likes women with nice smells.
Much to Talfryn's relief, their conversation is interrupted by a commotion. Out on the lake, two men are drowning. Marc throws a self-made contraption that releases a net in the water to pull them to shore. As he starts dragging them through the water, he realizes that they are Sir Damien and Sir Angelo and immediately tells Tal to throw them back in. Thinking that the contraption is a beast, Damien cuts the net, much to Marc's dismay. Damien starts to chew Marc out for accosting a knight when he realizes who it is and regards the brothers with distain. He explains to Angelo that the two are "merely imitators" of knights, which Angelo takes to mean that the two are part of his fanclub. Damien explains that Marc is "The Salamander", a fiend that cheated at the tests of Knighthood, which Marc takes great offense. Damien believes Marc to be called "The Salamander" because of how slippery he is.
Marc goes to fight Damien for calling him such a derogatory name, but is stopped by Talfryn. Tal reasons with Marc, telling him to think about Rilla, and Marc reluctantly puts away his sword. However, the mention of Rilla's name sends Damien into a breakdown as he cries over his lost fiance. Confused, Marc asks what has happened to Rilla, and Angelo explains that a four-armed lizard has taken her from the Citadel. It is then that Marc realizes that Rilla was the maiden he was after and immediately feels disgusted, as he thinks of her as his own sister. However, Marc referring to Rilla as his "sister" causes Damien to become riled up. The two argue about who should be the ones to rescue Rilla and boast about being able to best each other. Their argument is cut short by a distant scream. Marc and Damien challenge each other to rescue the woman first, and take off. Talfryn laments about the fact that the woman may actually be in trouble, but follows with Angelo.
Damien and Marc burst through the jungle to find that the screams originate from a woman sitting alone in a clearing. Confused, Damien asks the woman if there's anything that she needs help with. Tal and Angelo are able to catch up when the lady screams excitedly and exclaims that the competitors are here. The trees erupt in cheering, and the gang realizes that numerous nymphs are perched in the trees. Tal notices that the clearing is marked with strange lines and numbers like a playing field, to whom the nymph replies that nymphs love Sport.
Two nymphs serve as Sport commentators--Sunny Budkin and Pitley. Tal insists that they retreat, as this seems like a trap, but the commentators mention that the victors will be able to free a fair Damsel from her chains, which piques Marc and Damien's interest. The commentators explain the premise of Sport: two teams of two participate in two qualifying rounds before the finals. The winner of the qualifiers will go onto the final round to prove that they have what it takes to release the Damsel. Tal worries about the fact that they don't know what will happen if they lose. However, Marc replies dismissively, confident that he'll win. Marc and Damien agree to participate in Sport, to the nymphs' delight and Tal's horror. The nymphs bring out a bloodstained helmet to determine the round categories--first round, wordplay, and second round, single combat.
The two teams are given a few minutes to discuss strategy. Angelo returns to Damien, having told the nymphs their names and titles. Damien warns Angelo that although the nymphs seem to be fair ladies, they are still monsters. Angelo interjects that he cannot believe that creatures with such a wholesome love for sport can be purely evil, and that perhaps they are like the crocodile hound and have some good in them. After briefly reflecting on this sentiment, Damien tells Angelo to focus. He plans to play to their strengths, with Damien taking wordplay and Angelo taking singe combay. Damien expects Marc to take wordplay and Tal to take single combat. Angelo starts to comment that this does not seem in competitive spirit, especially since Marc created that net device, to which Damien angrily interjects that Marc did not invent the net. After calming down a little, he explains that although Marc may be able to provide insight based on his unique perspective on life, he is still not to be trusted.
Still wary about the nymphs, Tal questions the whole competition and calls into question the way the nymphs refer to the "damsel". Marc dismisses Tal's doubts, saying that he has a sure strategy to win the competition. He reasons that Damien would send Angelo to bungle wordplay due to how confident he is in fighting. Thus, Tal will beat Angelo at wordplay while Marc fights Damien in single combat. Tal asks Marc about what might happen if the nymphs do not let him bring Dampierre, but Marc says not to worry about it.
Sunny and Pitley announce that wordplay is about to begin. They explain that the competitors are tasked with reciting poetry to the crowd of nymphs. Talfryn panics, saying that he doesn't know anything about poetry. Marc attempts to assuage Tal's fears when he sees Damien step up to recite the poem Battle at World's End. As Damien speaks, Tal and Marc rush think of something. At first, Marc encourages Tal to recite what he knows, but Tal begins reciting facts about bear droppings and Marc quickly cuts him off. Marc then advises Tal to just say "roses are red, violets are blue", and to follow up with whatever he wants.
Damien finishes his poem to uproarious applause. Tal nervously takes his spot in the arena. Angelo asks Damien about this turn of events, having been reassured that Marc would take wordplay. Suspicious, Damien comments that Marc must be up to something. As the crowd dies down, Tal starts his poem with confidence before realizing that violets aren't blue. He calls out to Marc about this, questioning why people always say violets are blue. Confused, the nymphs chatter among themselves. After an awkward silence, the commentators thus declare Damien to be the victor, advancing him to the finals.
Tal apologizes to Marc about his performance, but Marc insists that it's fine, saying he was only thinking about his own round. Realizing that Marc is about to fight Sir Angelo, Tal panics, but Marc says that he has a plan. As the competitors prepare for single combat, Sunny and Pitley explain the rules of single combat. Combatants are stripped down to nothing but their underwear and a stick to hit the other person with. Each competitor gets to bring one non-magical article of clothing. The first person to be knocked out of the circle wins the round. Angelo says to Damien that this seems unfair, as he wouldn't want to hurt an innocent horse. Damien reassures him by saying that "the steed of a demon rides also in the devil’s army," which Angelo interprets as Dampierre being a demon.
As the competitors enter the arena, Angelo realizes that Marc does not have his horse--or underwear--and asks where they are. Marc states that it would be unfair to have Dampierre in the arena, as it is single combat, and he does not need pants, showing off his metal grieves. He explains that his underwear was magically enchanted to prevent sores from sitting on Dampierre all day, and thus was not allowed in the arena. However, Marc relishes in the fact that he's sitting in front of thousands of pretty women absolutely naked, to Angelo's apparent discomfort. The fight begins, and Marc pulls out a pair of keys from his grieves and activates them. Angelo tries to throw Marc off his feet, but to no avail. Marc explains that the grieves shoot two spikes into the ground, similar to tent poles, which thus prevent him from being moved at all. Damien cries foul, but as Marc is not technically breaking any rules, he is allowed to continue. Angelo complements Marc on his ingenuity, to which Damien interjects that Marc did not invent the tent pole.
Angelo loudly declares that two can play at this game and asks to inspect Marc's keys, "because [he] is interested in keys." Marc, unimpressed by the obvious trick, throws his keys to Dampierre. Damien gives chase to the horse outside of the arena. The two exchange blows for a while, with Sunny and Pitley commentating excitedly. Eventually, Angelo lays down his weapon and charges at Marc, as nothing can stop him when he's charging. Marc quickly lies down to avoid the attack and Angelo charges out of the arena. Marc is declared the winner of the round. Dampierre throws Marc his keys and Damien collapses onto the ground, winded.
After finishing the competition, Tal and Angelo are asked to report to the announcer's podium. Tal reminds Marc that something seems strange about the competition and the damsel, but Marc ignores Tal's comments as he starts another argument with Damien. Damien accuses Marc of cheating again, saying that he twisted the rules of the competition to his advantage. Marc rightly calls out Damien for calling him a "belly-dragging salamander," but Damien takes offense, saying that he would never imply such a thing about someone else. As they argue, the losers are taken by a nymph to the announcer's podium.
Suddenly, Damien and Marc realize that Angelo and Tal are missing. Sunny and Pitley reveal that they have been taken to the announcer's podium and held hostage. Tal and Angelo cry for help and try to break free, but to no avail. Pitley complements the competitors on playing one of the best games of Sport yet, and comments that either Tal or Angelo will be dead in a half an hour. Damien and Marc are shocked by this relevation. The announcers push for the victors to enter the finals area. As they follow a nymph to the final area, Damien prays for the Saints for forgive him and Marc promises to rescue Tal, no matter what.
Cast and Crew[]
Cast[]
Starring
- Stefano Perti as Sir Marc
- Jason Mellin as Talfryn
- Matthew Zahnzinger as Sir Damien
- M Sutherland as Sir Angelo
- Kristie Norris as Sunny Budkin
- Allison Choat as Pitley
- Harley Takagi Kaner as Challenger-coordinating nymph
Crew[]
- Kat Buckingham, Head of Merchandise and Outreach
- Alice Chuang, Head of Design
- Scott Galica, Recording engineer
- Harley Takagi Kaner, Co-creator, Head of Episode Development, Director, Sound designer
- Noah Simes, Production manager
- Kevin Vibert, Co-creator, Head of Operations, Lead writer
- Ryan Vibert, Composer and performer of original music
Quotes[]
TALFRYN: This area is one of the most dangerous in the Citadel! Did you ask Rilla if she heard anything about this dragon-man, even? MARC: Of course not. That’d be cheating. Also: she would’ve told me this was too dangerous. And also: I’m really bad at lying to her so I didn’t visit before I left.
MARC: You know what kinda girls I like? TALFRYN: N-no and I was kind of hoping we could keep it that— MARC: I like ladies that are like… like the wind. TALFRYN: How… but what does that mean… MARC: Your turn. Come on, Tal, just feel it out, you’ll get there. TALFRYN: M-m-m-me?! I mean I… I guess I like women that are like the wind too, then? MARC: Like the wind? Come on, Tal, what does that mean? That doesn’t mean anything. Get specific.
ANGELO: Sir Damien? Do you know these curs? MARC: Excuse you! Nobody calls us curs except our mother! TALFRYN: And she always clarifies that she’s kidding afterwards! Which is very important to me!
NYMPHS: Sport! Sport! Sport! Sport! Sport!
ANGELO: Your theories on perspective are most interesting, Sir Damien. DAMIEN: I hope we may prove them safely soon. Now— ANGELO: Why, yes! The Queen does not keep many knights with tall brothers, does she? An oversight! I shall speak with her directly upon our return. DAMIEN: Angelo… that isn’t quite what I— ANGELO: Soft-bodied siblings, then? Horses with names? DAMIEN: Your horse has a name, my friend. ANGELO: Saints above, so he does! The Queen’s foresight never ceases to astound!
MARC: Stay with me, Tal. You can do this. Poetry is just a bunch of pretty words about nature, right? You know everything about nature! Just say some of that! TALFRYN: Anything? MARC: Anything. Come on, try it out. TALFRYN: Okay.
(DEEP BREATH)
You can get a quick survey of the wild fruits that grow in an area if you look for bear droppings, because the unripe berries don’t get digested and then—MARC: Yeah, okay, no, stop, stop! TALFRYN: I don’t think that was a poem, Marc. MARC: Of course it was. It was just… too experimental for this crowd.
PITLEY: What can I say, I’m a Nymph with simple tastes. Give me a man with muscles and literally nothing else, Sunny, that’s all I’m after.
Trivia[]
- This is the first episode in which ads were introduced. Sponsors pay the creators based on how many times the episode was downloaded. Patreon supporters still received ad-free episodes.
- During single combat, the nymphs are heard literally buzzing with excitement, foreshadowing their insect nature that is later revealed in Second Citadel - The Sportive Nymphs (Part 2).